The Process

If any of you who are out of high school can think back on those days, do you remember what it was like to find a boy who is everything you want in a guy and then you realize, he doesn't like you?
There is this girl, she thought this guy was so funny. He always made her laugh and she could never stay angry at him. He was a christian and shared so many of her own views. This girl dreamed of what it would be like if maybe one day, he asked her out.
Maybe somehow, he thought of her just as much as she thought of him. Maybe, he thought she was beautiful. Then one day, while the two were talking, he mentioned another girl. She was pretty and he liked her. Her heart sank when the words twirled around her head. Suddenly, there was a very clear truth right in front of her face. He didn't think about her all the time. He didn't think she was beautiful. Now, she was just left to began a process which seems horridly impossible. A process she didn't really want to go through. The process of getting over him. How is that even possible?
Who could replace him?

This girl,
her name is Ava.

I know

Look guys, I know I'm boring. I know.
If you read my blog, I'm guessing you really care about me or you're bored too. Either way thank you :]
I don't know how much I'll be posting over the next month seeing that I'm leaving to Texas on Saturday!!!
Now, I understand that I'm not famous or whatever makes people read others blogs, this is just something that makes me feel like my voice is being heard. I hope one day, I'll be able to put up something extremely interesting on here, but till then, thanks for sticking with me. I love you!

Looming

It has been a while since I posted, if those who read are still reading, thanks. Last week Chris and I decided to fast. No t.v. shows, talking to each other, chating sites and bad music. I have to say, it was awesome. I learned so much and it was the best. I strongle recomend fasting, people might think its boring, but that is the opposite.

Next, I have to tell you how excited I am that school is OVER for me! Now, I love my friends and love seeing them, but geez, how perverted teenager can be! It kills me to hear the things that I hear. I really honestly feel bad about not being enough of a witness to them. I feel like I've done nothing to show how great Jesus is. Even with this, I am very glad that its the summer and next week I get to see my madre and sisters!

This visit is highly anticipated. When I moved here I didn't realize how much you can miss someone. I have needed my moms increadlibly tight hugs so much lately and my sisters to talk to. Even with the awesome girls here that I consider sister-like, the sad truth is that they aren't. Nothing can replace my family.

Oh, and one more thing... my new twenty something year old friends got married on saturday! It was beautiful and I loved seeing God bring two great people together. CONGRATS TO JEN AND JONATHAN BLAIR!

Thank You!

Thanks you guys, who think I'm too hard on myself. I know I am, but if I wasn't then who would be?
I also wanted to say thank you to my sweet best friend, Chris. He has been there for me to talk to for the last 8 months and its been great. God has given me a blessing in him. He is the FIRST guy who I have been comfortable and no matter where this relationship goes, the days I spend with you will be so close to my heart. You're so sweet. I wish others could see it!
Not only him, but I have some sweet friends:
Baily, you are so sweet and I want you to know how beautiful you are. If people don't see that well then they're lame. You always make me feel increadibly loved.
Abbi, you are so nice and have a kind heart. It's very refreshing in this mad school.
Dani, you're one who IS hard on me, but also funny and cheer me up with your bluntness. I'm glad I have you to talk to!
Sam, We have had our issues and I know I depend on you A LOT! But you're such a funny and sweet friend. I'm glad I have someone to talk to about anything.
Courtney, you are insane! and I love you. I love the times that we've spend laughing super hard. You're too cool for school. :]

To my two sweet uncles, I love you both like brothers and you are always in my heart. You both hold little pieces of my dad and thats something very special to me. I'm so glad I have you two around.
My mom and sisters, I love you so much. I could never say how much I miss you and how sorry I am that I hurt you when I left. I will never be able to get this time back and that will hurt me for the rest of my life. I love you. So so much.

I'm sorry if I didn't mention someone, I have so many sweet friends. I love you all.

My last and most important is my sweet sweet Lord. No person could replace his love and the joy he brings. Thank you so much.

Undeserving

I need to suck it up and remember what I have.
God, why am I so envious, and selfish and so just completely retarded?
I'm sorry for how I am. I'm saying that to everyone.
I'm sorry.

Sorry!

I'm sorry I haven't really been doing anything. I really don't know who I'm talking to anyways. I hear people tell me they read my blog, but I really don't know and I wouldn't blame anyone for not reading it. This is really a nice thing for me. I hope people read it. Now, I'm not the crazy party teen type, but I do have things to say.
I keep getting the whole - things will get harder when your older, don't wish your life away, just wait till you pay your own bills! - thing. Guess what, I'm not an idiot. For your info. I enjoy taking care of myself and I can' wait. I'm not oblivious to the fact that life is hard sometimes, you know?

Stand in the Rain

My friend, Amanda and I have recently choreographed a new song for our dance team. It is called Stand in the Rain. I am so excited. This song always bring tiny tears to my eyes. It just speaks to my heart so deeply. It talks about a girl who is always doing something, just being busy and trying to fight something by herself. I loved it back in the day because it made me feel like there was hope. Now I love it because it was so true! My savior is the ONE and only who keeps me going in even the darkest times and the most self hatred of thoughts.
Lately, I have had some doubting thoughts about something that God led me into. I had little random thoughts that maybe He wanted me somewhere else. My best friend told me that its good to question that because it makes you remember that God is always first. It was so true! It's only made me closer. It keeps me on track. As much as I love this I know that He knows what I want and need even better then I do. So, I trust Him. If this is where He wants me, then I'm so extatic. If it isn't then my God is still the same!

I do have so many issues

Some may not know, but i think i have too many problems. So many that if people counted them all up, no one would come within talking distance to me. One big one right this second is that I've seen someone playing favorites a lot. They [i wont specify at all] have FANTASTIC lives. Well from the outside anyways. I know thats judging but for your info. I do speak to them and in face know they're home lives aren't messes. So they have so many blessings and they're favorited above everyone else. While the rest of us get put on hold. HOW NICE?!
I'm trying oh so hard to forget it and remember that if I was being favorited, I wouldn't notice this. But I am human and this is my flaw. One of them anyways.
The next is that I've just been a dumb one and think about how beautiful girls like Selena Gomez are and how much they have. I know, they're beauty is 'fake,' but it really isn't. These are standards for girls now. How could we ever meet them. Then to make it worse girls who I see all the time who aren't famous are just as beautiful! What in the world?!

The only thing that keeps me from crawling in a hole and hating myself is that I know God doesn't make mistakes. He thinks I'm beautiful [and for the record, so does Chris] and thats all that matters. My cares about me and in our special relationship, I like to believe that I'm His favorite. :]

Teenagers? Please! ADULTS!

Yeah, the title doesn't make much sense... or does it? Well just know that some event have transpired and I really hope that their isn't some transformation we all go through once we become an adult, because then I take back all I've said and I do NOT want to grow up! I mean... UGHH!!!!!!! @#$^@$^^&&@%&@@^%@@^#@#$%^^*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE THIS!
but aside from that madness,
I really need  prayer! I've learned through my quiet time that I have pride and I care too much of what people think. Which is hilarious because I've always thought the opposite. I suppose it's just when it comes to my Savior... I'm very lame, aren't I? Yes, I am! Please pray that this stops holding me back from telling my lost friends about their savior.
And last, I'm going to try something new with my eye makeup... not that I've been wearing much lately. And you probably don't care. Just love God, because He loves you and He died the most painful, beautiful death for you! I love you!

Ugh!

So the laptop I usually use, my uncles old college dell, has recently started being freaky. Now, if it can be fixed or not, I am unaware. Either way, I am using the house computer which resides in the living room so I wont be online much. I think Chris will like that.
Hopefully you're having a great Palm sunday. It is the start to the celebration that made us able to recieve forgiveness. Gee, I really love my Lord. For real. Its been a great, blessed life so far and even if it gets rocky, my God will still be the same.
One thing thats come to my attention today is that, sadly, a relationship I had with one of my friends has started to fade. I guess its just how things go. It's truely a sad thing though. I enjoyed hanging out with her so much....
............. I do not know.

I just can't wait to visit my family. Texas, I can't wait to enter your big open arms! The mexicans I saw at La Parilla made me miss my Maria. [mom]

Mixture

Tonight, I was told that I hadn't updated in a while, sorry Baily!
So here it is:
I REALLY want to hear more from Louie Giglio. If you haven't heard of him, go look him up. So great! I want to purchase this

It is fantastic!!!!

Another thing from last week was this new blog I started reading. It's the story of Audrey Caroline and wow.... it showed me so much about the love of God and how he uses things in our life and also how we should keep our faith in Him. Anyone who is reading this, please go to the picture to the side. It says Bring the Rain. Click on it and read about a family that is so encouraging. Wow.

Its been a great week. 

Chris turned 17 and we've been together for half a year. Yeah, I know all you married people are laughing but oh well. I'm very happy about the blessings God's given me. I spent time with his family Sunday at Red Lobster and it was great. I love them. 

God is just so glorious. I love Him.

Lyra, Lyra, Lyra!

We have a brand new great grandchild in this family! Her name is Lyra! She is so perfect! 

My new sister Mary had her March 12, they surprised her by having to have an emergency c-section. But it all went well. She's so adorable!

Nykki looks beautiful holding her!

For Women Only

My [older] friend Jessica recently gave me a book to read after an afternoon of talking about my boyfriend and our relationship. It had so much information and really opened my eyes to how different guys are compared to girls. I really enjoyed reading it, although some things I learned scared me a little, it was all important information. I don't know what it's like to be married [obviously] but I would imagine that this would help so much to understand what goes on in your mans mind in everyday things. I hope I never forget what I learned from this and that I can apply to my way of thinking, especially when I get married. I would definitely recommend this for women who are married or will one day be married. 

Breakaway

It has been a very busy week:
Life Action Ministries came to our church and it was a very eye-opening revival. I really enjoyed it and met the sweetest girl named, Margo. Another thing that's happening this week is Grad Exams, exciting. NOT! I do not want to have to take these things next year so I better pass them ALL! At least I'll have an AWESOME weekend; Breakaway is here. A weekend full of time with the most amazing sunday school ever to grace this planet, the 10th grade girls! I love it! Plus! Rush Of Fools is our Praise and Worship band, talk about magnificent. Wow..... I have been really blessed and I'm so excited about what's going on. Life really sucks sometimes but I know things will always get better because God is in my life.

Never Mind....

Just forget my last post, of course he called back and said 'he couldn't pretend it was okay'
.....
Of course he did....
I have my loving Lord as my strength and I'm so thankful because I don't know how much more I could take....

The Beauty of Mending

I'm sorry I keep updating so much, BUT... I have some very beautiful news!..... 
My father and I have had a rough few years and we didn't talk hardly ever, when we did it seemed to get well or it was absolutely the opposite, for whatever reason, nothing got better. Recently my grandparents and I took a trip to San Antonio and we met with my dad and mom [step] oh, and my new little siblings. Things looked great then declined again. I just talked to him and I really feel like this time it'll change. I am going to call him more and I'm supposed to see him this summer. Please pray that this is the change. I love my dad and I REALLY miss him. I've had some great support from my friends and family but I still miss him, you know? Anyways, please pray and I will update on the situation. 
I AM SO EXCITED!!! 

Babies

These adorable little ones are my nieces and nephew. I love them so so much but it really scares me about how they're lives will turn out. Growing up in my home town gives me knowledge that there is SO MANY terrible influences. I'm so afraid! I love them so much! It makes me wonder how I'd be able to handle thinking of my own kid's futures. I really pray that they have a very blessed life.

Damien Rene

Serenity Jade

Sophia Alicia

Nerves!

Well today, I have to do something I'm not very great at.... talk on a STAGE in front of my whole youth group!!! It's a bit nerve wracking! I'm telling my testimony, which I'm working on writing in a journal. I know this is something God wants me to do before they separate the high schoolers and middle schoolers but I am still freaking out just a little. Chris, my best friend/boy friend will be there and I know he loves hearing my testimony... but it just makes me a wee bit more anxious.... Pray for me!!

My goodness!

Okay, well today these two girls got in a fight at school. One is in my drivers ed. class and talks back to the teacher all the time, so it's expected. I payed my friend, Brantley, to buy me some weird chip pretzel buffalo flavored things from the store. I wonder why food is so much more appealing at school...... I'm so sick of my geometry teacher. He is the most nit picky teacher ever! gosh! seriously!! 

Kardashian!

I absolutely love her style! She is so cute!

Ready to move on

My name is Ava Thomaston, I'm a high schooler who cannot wait to graduate, no matter how many times adults tell me I'll miss it. I struggle with telling people about Christ day to day since high school is so filled with gossip and drama. I have many views on life and the events that take place in it. All I know for sure is that my Lord is REAL, He died for ME and YOU and He loves us no matter what.